What a day....

Rebecca hasnt sent me much work today so I am left to my own devices and of course what am I dwelling on?  What else?

I had to take a sedative last night.  my nerves were shot and my heart was racing and nothing was making me comfortable.  '

I don't feel much better today.  I feel so low.  My head hurts and there is this hollowness in the pit of my stomach.

Luna's noticed. She's come to me a few times and asked me if I'm ok.  She keeps asking for hugs and kisses.  It's supposed to make me feel better right?  My little girl is being compassionate and loving and I am struggling to reciprocate.

I know what everyone would say.  I even know what he'd say, but no one really knows what would help.  Only I can tell them what will help me.

No more heartache.  I dont want to suffer anymore, but either one of us walking away at this point in time is not going to help me.

We tried that.  It didnt seem to work.

I dont want him to walk away and I wont give up again.  So I guess we're stuck.